Quit Smoking Now!!!

So far, the Public Gym has gone after fat adults, anorexics (twice!) and fat kids. It was only a matter of time that we went after the smokers too. Granted, those people have their problems, but smoking is probably the unhealthiest addiction plaguing today’s society. Even though the smoking society has dwindled a bit in the last 10 years, it’s still a health risk for many people. After all, more than 400, 000 people still die each year from smoking related illnesses.

I know you people love your facts (especially you skinny, bean-pole anorexics!), except you have all heard the many stats and little nuggets about how dangerous smoking is. The only fact about this is that cigarettes are the only product on the market that if used properly WILL KILL YOU. So the Public Gym will give you facts based on IF you quit smoking:

- You tend live longer and better

- The chance of developing lung cancer, having a heart attack or a stroke decrease

- Your kids will lead a healthier life, and your unborn kids won’t pop out of you with birth defects

- You get a pay raise! You’ll save so much money you can fund a new vacation each and every year.

If risking your children’s lives don’t make you quit, let’s appeal to your vanity! How about if you stop smoking now, you’ll be able to breathe!! Isn’t that great!?!? If you stop smoking now, people won’t try to run you over going up a flight of steps because you can’t breathe. If you stop smoking now, people won’t pass by you and go “UUUGGGGHHHHHH” because you stink like a Philip Morris factory. If you stop smoking, you won’t age as much and your face won’t look like a roadmap…or if you stop smoking now, you won’t develop those little lines around your lips that make your mouth look like an a$$hole…even though you may act like one because your favorite bar has banned smoking inside because the paradigm has shifted and the majority of people in this country DO NOT smoke and you’re too busy ranting and raving about it instead of doing the right thing and quitting.

So, instead of thinking up excuses to not quit smoking (ie. My job’s too stressful…My dog died…My wife’s cheating on me…) just quit! Put them down, throw them out and think about the positive. Say you buy one pack a day at an average of $5. That’s $1680 a year and you won’t look like a disgusting, wrinkled, old dried up prune! That’s enough for a down payment on a new facelift for your ugly mug! Also, if you stop smoking, people won’t gravitate away from you anymore because you stink…and you thought it was your B.O.

Believe me, if you think it makes you look cool, you’re wrong. Remember James Dean, how he used to smoke and look cool doing it? Well, James Dean is dead. If the car accident didn’t get him, the cancer would’ve. If the cancer wouldn’t have gotten him, he’d be a parody of coolness dragging around an oxygen tank. Is that what you want??